I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
