Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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