I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
