Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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