just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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