So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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