Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
