i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
