If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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