Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Randomize
