At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
