spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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