don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
