i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
