she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
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Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
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Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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