i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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