Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Threesome in a minivan. New low
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I will pee on everything he values.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Randomize
