Whod you bang
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
