you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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