I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
