So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize
