I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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