Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
