I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
