Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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