I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
