It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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