I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
