I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
