Umm I'm too high to move.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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