I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
