everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
