Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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