i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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