He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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