...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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