Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
