Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
