There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
