I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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