You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
