we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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