Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize