if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I know her cup size but not her name....
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