I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
