Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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