...so i touched it.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.