So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
