I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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