You really coming over, don't trick.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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