im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize