I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You were trust falling into bushes
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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