just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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