I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
