did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
