I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
